well. that's progress.

So, My grandma has this cat...
and She's a fuckin jerk!!

The first time I sat near her, she hissed, and sliced my thumb open.
when I tired to pet her, she dug her claws into my wrist, and would not let go.
For a good.. 2 minutes.
That's when I decided. that I'm gonna make friends with the cat.

Today, I tried to per her, and she didn't bite, scartch, or hiss.
which is surpising, since I jumped like ten feet in the air everytime she moved,

So that's progress, I think.

Drowning.

Lately, I've been spending most of my time inside my own head.
Always thinking thinking thinking.
I've almost completely lost my interest in human interaction,

I have so many things on my mind.
It feels like my head is totally full of warm water, and I'm just drifting around in it.
I dunno if it's a good thing or not.
It's probably not, since I can't seem to focous on anything outside my head.

Today, I dunno how long my dad had been talking,
but I know I didn't notice until he shook my shoulder,
knocking me right out of my thoughts,
the world I created.
It was a little like...
Staring at a stained glass window.
then someone coming up behind you,
and pushing you through it.
Shattering it into a million pieces around you.

It's a little amazing how..
I can have a million thoughts in my head.
in my world.
but when I'm dragged back to reality, I can't seem to recall those thoughts..
and I cant seem to have anything to say...

I think my brain works funny.
Like everyone elses mind runs on gasoline,
and mine runs on grapefruits or something.

This blog was pointless.

I've erased the mark.

No longer human.
Merely a chalkboard people write upon as they pass by,
but I've erased the art I'd left,
and all that remains is ugly graffiti.

...
Only one person will get this.
Oh well.

On a different note.
I've been thinking a lot lately.
About a lot of different things.
I've been observing people for a long time now.
I'm always fansinated by the way people move.
and I always try to make connections between their moves and they're personailties.

People with softer, slower, more delicate movements, are ususally just that.
very nice, soft people.
People who smile a lot.

People with jerky, unsure movements, are usually very strange, Uninqe.
The kind of people who talk a lot, and aren't afraid of what people think of them.

People with fast, snap-like movements are usally very harsh, and confiandant.
They aren't afraid of a fight.

Those are just a few things I've picked up on.
I try to pay close attenstion to the mannerisms of the people I'm near.



There is another thing that I've noticed about myself.
When I'm in like, an urban setting, with buildings and lots of people around and such, I get bored.
Very fast.
I can't sit still for more than I few minutes.
I always wanna walk around,
find something to do for a few minutes,
then move on to something else.


BUT
When I'm in a natural setting...
With trees and grass and nature.
It's different.
I could sit and stare at the sky for hours.
I could look at a tree for hours.
I could stare at a river for hours
and still be sad when I had to leave.

e trees just hold my attension like nothing else ever could.
Even if they remained completely unchanging I'd just be in awe of them.

sure.

I dunno where I'm going with this.

I don't really have anything preicular to write about right now...
so let's just see where this goes.

The other day, Me, Jon, Rachel, Matt and Paul made Sea salt ice cream.
Though, me and Jon were the only ones really exicted about it,

because it was like fullfuling a stupid childish dream of being part of a video game or something.
It was fun though.
Matt and Paul hated it.
but I dunno what they were talking about.
I think it tastes great, and we are gonna have to make more of it very soon.

I was talking to my dear friend recently,

and she said

"It likes we're starting from sqaure one."

and I realized that she was right.
because of the past two years, I haven't been able to talk to her much,

because someone had a problem with her for no reason.
and like an idiot, I let that get in the way.
Even though my firendship with her meant much more than my relationship with him.

It was stupid.
But I guess starting at square one doesn't have to be all that bad.

I wish I had something really meaningful to say here, but I don't.